So there I am, walking down the center church aisle, hearing my kids’ squealing gradually softening behind me, and I see my younger brother waiting patiently at the altar. As I stare at my kid brother, I start to well up and say louder than I anticipated, “I am going to cry.” Thankfully the laughter from a few rows of family helped me keep it together and NOT ruin my very-rarely-done-so-beautifully makeup. I then broke bridesmaid protocol, hugged the snot out of my brother and told him that I loved him.
Then as I watched my two adorable little kids walk down the church aisle with their grandfather (my father) I came to the painfully obvious realization that, “Holy crap, I am an adult…and so is my brother.”
This is not news. I have been a mom for four years. Married for seven. A homeowner for eight. A big sister for 27. But that’s the beauty (or curse) of life events; they force you to pause and reflect on life (especially Orthodox Christian weddings; they are long!)
That moment (and the 59-minutes after that) illuminated how every second with which I’ve been blessed made this moment what it is. A beautiful celebration of love and joy and family. Yes, let’s make that last.
Then I thought about how time never stops. Whether you make good or bad life decisions, time marches on. And lives are crafted by those decisions. Insert “overwhelm” here.
For all those moments I was distracted by something fleeting and not listening when I should have been enjoying my large, extended and quirky family, I am sorry.
For all those times my brother wanted to play with me and I thought I was too cool…I am sorry for that, too.
Also, I was never cool.
And now I am an adult. A parent. A homeowner. A big sister. A Godmother. An auntie. A working professional. An entrepreneur. And a bridesmaid in my brother’s wedding.
While all of this is running through my head, I hear “Mama!” from across the church and I see a little hand waving to me. My thoughts cease as I stare at my smiling baby girl. I remember a quote by Omar Khayyem that advises, “Be happy in this moment. This moment is your life.” As I glance from my kids to my husband as a groomsman to my brother over the moon with joy and then to my parents holding hands in the front pew, this is very easy to do.
That’s what we have. That’s all we have. This moment. Right now. Forget what was. Be happy now. Happy wedding, little brother. May this new chapter in your life be full of happy moments.