“But wouldn’t you like a little girl?”
During my second pregnancy, I was on the receiving end of this question a seemingly endless amount of times. We had, once again, decided to be surprised in the delivery room. My answer was that it didn’t matter, son or daughter, I just wanted a healthy baby. Yes, I already had a son, but the sex of my child was not a priority.
Frankly, I almost wanted to say, “health is a priority, but if I had to choose, I’d love another boy.” The social “norm,” however, made me feel weird about expressing that sentiment. When you have a child of one sex, everyone always a assumes you want the next to be the opposite sex.
Eight days before my due date, we welcomed another boy. He made our family whole, complete. I was pleased to step back into known territory: I was already wildly adept at containing unintentional pee fountains during early diaper changing days. Besides that, I had all the clothes, decor, and toys.
Do I understand why some parents may want a boy AND a girl? Absolutely. I get it, and there is nothing wrong with that desire! But before we even started having children, deep down, I felt like I was meant to have sons. To this day, if we did decide to expand our family (spoiler: that is NOT in the plans), I would, once again, silently hope for another son. Well, maybe not so silently since I’m writing this post for all the world to see!
I know people who have expressed some disappointment with having two or more children of the same sex. That desire for a mother or father to experience both sides of the parenting spectrum is normal. I just don’t necessarily yearn for or need to experience raising both a boy and a girl. Maybe that makes me an anomaly, but, so be it.
People say to me, “but don’t you wish for dance recitals, and won’t you miss shopping for prom dresses?” My mother and I have a great relationship. She was at every figure skating practice and the annual showcase. She accompanied when I was on the hunt for prom dresses. My mom was there helping me pick out curtains when we bought our first house. She was with me when I found my wedding gown. I’ll always treasure those special times we shared. But I can still enjoy special memories with my sons. Will they be different? Likely so. But I fully plan on being the crazy hockey mom who obsessively adjusts her son’s boutonniere on prom night.
There is still always that burning questions that everyone asks me: Are you going to try again for a little girl?
I always want to answer that question with another question: Is it wrong for me to not want a daughter?
The simple answer is no. I can’t quite say why I feel best equipped to mother sons. Perhaps my personality, my nature, and my ways are just better suited for a household where I am outnumbered. It’s not because I think raising sons is easier or better. I would have happily welcomed a daughter with either pregnancy. And I can say with great surety that I’d especially love picking out a frilly dress or two for her. But I know in my heart of hearts, I was designed to raise boys, and my family could not feel any more complete than it does now.