What is a good mom? How exactly do you define what makes someone a good mom? Am I a good mom?
I find myself asking myself that question on a daily basis. What have I done today that would make me a good mom? Who even decides?
We are living in a time where there is so much pressure to be a “good” mom. If you breastfeed, you’re a good mom. If you feed your child organic foods, you’re a good mom. If you enroll your child in swim lessons, or attend weekly play dates, you’re a good mom. But what if you don’t do those things that society sees as good? And instead you decided to formula feed, or maybe you gave your kid a Dorito yesterday, or maybe your work schedule doesn’t allow for you to attend swim lessons or play groups. Does that mean you can’t still be a good mom?
I don’t think I’ve every felt as much pressure to do something well as I do now as a mom. There’s that innate need to raise your child to be a good person of course, but it’s more than just that. It’s the constant feeling of not doing it right, of not being good enough. I know I have those days when I’m just so exhausted after working, running a business, attempting to keep my house clean that maybe I put the TV on and just let him watch. Does that mean I’m not a good mom? Sometimes I may even ask my mom to stay later on a work day, so I can get a pedicure. Does that mean I’m not a good mom? How frustrating is it that you can’t even enjoy a pedicure sometimes without feeling guilty!
The reality is I know those things don’t decide the quality of parent you are; however, I can guess that anyone reading this has probably has felt this way at some point. Society creates this ideal of what a “good” mom is and what it is not, and we (moms) in turn place judgement on others and on ourselves. It’s not fair. Being a mom is HARD. It’s basically the hardest thing ever. And most of us aren’t just moms. We are friends, daughters, sisters, professionals, women. We are more than what society defines us by and we deserve to have bad days.
Its time for moms to raise each other up and let each other know what a good job we are doing; support each other, without judgment. When you wake up in the morning tell yourself, I am a good mom. I am worthy of this child/these children. I am doing the best I can. (Repeat).