“I’m Not a Regular Mom, I’m a Cool Mom”

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Cool Mom Providence Moms Blog

Before children (B.C.) there is this lust for life in you like no other. You can stay up late, you can sleep in, be hungover, call out of work, go on vacations, eat sitting down, and so on. Then all of sudden, kids.

Now I’m not a huge fan of pumping up one’s own ego, but I thought I was relatively cool before having a child. People seemed to enjoy me, for the most part, and I always had a great time when I went out. Now, I just don’t go out. Going out is hard. Finding a babysitter is hard. Staying awake is hard.

But I’m still cool, right?

I have to say one of the most difficult parts of the transition to motherhood is the idea of “self.” Who am I anyway? It was hard enough to define that B.C. Now I am this totally different human being, now responsible for another human being, playing an entirely new role, but at the same time expected to be myself. Who exactly am I again?

Whoever I am, I hope I’m still cool.

After having my son, I remember going through a period I would describe as grieving. I was missing the person I was before him. I missed my freedom, my alone time, my body; the list goes on and on. At the same time, I had this indescribable bond with my brand spanking new baby. I didn’t want anyone else to help me. I wanted to be there to experience everything first hand.

After a few very LONG weeks of that, I realized there has to be some balance. I have to find that space between who I was and who I am. I knew there had to be some of ME left, but also wanted to fully accept this person, this mother, I was becoming.

Finding my new identity, or my “cool mom” self.

I found myself peeling away little by little. Taking the time to go walk the aisles of Target, while sipping the most devine iced latte. Or closing my eyes while getting a pedicure, or even just going for a drive ALONE. It was in those moments that I found myself again. It was when I allowed myself to breathe. Rebirthed and ready to take on my new life.

There is just too little out there that relates to that rawness after birth, too few reminders that you are not alone, or that you are not selfish for feeling the way you do. Becoming a mother is a beautiful and empowering transition, but it’s so important we don’t lose ourselves along the way.

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Chelsea Boucher
Chelsea was born in Providence and spent her early years in Pawtucket, before moving to South-East MA. She was recently called back to Rhode Island where she purchased her first home. As most moms do, Chelsea wears many hats these days. She’s been married to her husband for 10 years and spent her early 20s supporting him as he served in the United States Marine Corps. She has a one year old son, Cannon, who keeps her on her feet and a smile on her face. She owns a fitness and wellness studio in Rehoboth, called Barre & Moon. Where she spends quite a few evenings and weekends working with an amazing group of empowered, positive women. And when she’s not doing all of that, she is working part-time as a Special Education teacher in Foxboro. Chelsea attended both the University of North Carolina-Wilmington and Bridgewater State University, graduating with degrees in English, Elementary Education and a Masters in Special Education. Education is greatly important to her, and she continues to stay updated on current teachings in education/child psychology. She loves Starbucks, and all things Target. Exercise is a huge part of her life, anything from yoga, to barre, to weightlifting, to just chasing her son around on the playground! Staying active and having fun with family and friends are what she is all about.