7 Things I Do Now that I’m a Mom

So many things change when you become a parent. Your daily routine is just the tip of the iceberg. I realized recently that I have morphed into a new version of myself, sometimes exhibiting strange behaviors.  I don’t where or when I picked up these habits. But I did so nonetheless. Here are 7 things I do now that I’m a mom.

1. I hide in the bathroom

I’ll admit it, sometimes I hide in the bathroom. The door closed, phone or magazine in hand, mug on the counter. And while little hands occasionally beat on the door, I spout lies at the top of my lungs. “Give mommy some privacy, please! I’ll be out in a minute! I’m going potty!” when really, I am enjoying a sip of coffee that has not been microwaved while catching up on Facebook. I haven’t resorted to eating in there yet. But I am not opposed should the need present itself. Which leads me to….

2. I eat in bed

Never ever did I do this before having kids. The thought revolted me. Crumbs in my bed? EW! But now, especially on the weekends, I eat my breakfast in bed. Why? Because little people have taken over the living room and rather than watch The Descendants for the 18th time at 7am, I prefer the Today Show or Fixer Upper with my scrambled eggs. Don’t judge, I make the bed first and I use a napkin.

3. I narrate my day

I talk to myself A LOT. I read somewhere in the Guide for New Moms (okay, I made that title up, but it was in a parenting book somewhere, I’m sure of it) that it’s helpful to warn your kids about what will be happening next. So I’m always saying, “girls, in five minutes we’re going to have lunch and then we’ll go to the playground.” But now, I do this even when they’re not around. “In 10 minutes I’ll go the bank then stop by work,” I say out loud. Who am I warning? Myself? My husband? He’s not listening!

4. I go outside in my pajamas

I am no glamour girl. I’ve left the house in gym clothes, without makeup, wearing a baseball hat before. But I always had shoes on my feet and actual clothing on my body. This year, I decided that was too much effort and I took casual to another level. On any given morning I can be seen chatting it up at the bus stop in my pajamas and slippers. I still brush my hair and put my contacts in, but if I’m not going to the office, I’m not getting dressed before 8am. I am not alone and I am not ashamed.

5. I laugh on daily basis

It’s not that I was miserable before, but it’s true that kids say darnedest things!  Every day my girls do something that makes me laugh out loud. Knock knock jokes are a regular occurrence at the dinner table, and I relish in the goofy stories and mispronunciations. I don’t correct my youngest when she says, “Frankenstyle” is her favorite Halloween monster or when she asks if that parking spot is for “handy captain.” I just laugh and answer, “yes it is!”  Someday she’ll say it right, but for now, she’s four and I like her little language. And there’s nothing quite as funny as being forced to watch your kids put on a dance performance complete with wacky costumes, hair flips, and dramatic poses. I now know what I put my mother through and all I have to say is, “you’re welcome!”

6. I cry at the drop of a hat

I have never considered myself an emotional person. Now I might as well carry a hanky. Movies, television shows (I am talking to you, This Is Us!) have me blubbering like an idiot without much effort. I cry at my husband’s choice of anniversary cards. I cried at my daughter’s first recital and when she and my husband posed for pictures before the sweetheart dance. I cried when I changed my last diaper and when I nursed my second child for the very last time. The crying seems to happen whenever it wants. Its wrapped up in happiness, sadness and pride for everything they do. I’m a sap.

7. I worry constantly

I think this is the one part of parenthood I could do without. I would trade this for more night feedings, more temper tantrums, even an annual bout with the stomach bug. I worry about everything.  I worry if my kids are playing alone on the playground, if they’re eating enough, pooping enough, or watching too much TV. I have anxiety about the future, both mine and theirs. I worry about this crazy world and if it will be better or worse when they’re adults. I question if we are doing a good job, and if we’re teaching them all the right things. But most of all I worry that time is going too fast and I’m going to miss something. Then I worry that I am worrying a bit too much.