Dear Cold and Flu Season,
Is it just me, or did you show up way earlier than usual this year? Most years I feel like we can get a good chunk into January before I worry that you’ll really take a stronghold, but this year, roseola struck my house in October. By December, my Facebook news feed was exploding with mamas lamenting about their sick little ones. And in January, my sweet baby got not one, not two, but THREE ear infections, plus double pink eye for good measure. Don’t you know it’s considered rude to arrive somewhere before you’re expected? Perhaps you’ve gotten the wrong idea and think you are welcome around these parts. Let me be clear to you: moms can’t stand you. In fact, there’s literally nothing we hate more than you.
You know why? There is nothing worse than watching your favorite person in the world struggle with pain and discomfort that you can’t take away from them. We moms want to FIX things, for crying out loud, and for a large number of common childhood illnesses, the only cure is time.
We also despise that you turn our happy kiddos into a fun combo of crabby and clingy. This means that the small amount of time we had set aside for ourselves is completely taken up with being someone else’s everything. Even nighttime is no guarantee, with sick little ones climbing into our beds. As if is that isn’t tough enough, please add in the worry factor. Do they have a fever? How long have they had this fever? Hmm, isn’t that too high? I think I’ll call the doctor. Well, the doctor says I have nothing to worry about. But I’m still worried. Because I am a mom and that is what they pay me (nothing) to do. Worry, worry, worry until the day I die.
You also leave us stuck in the house for Days. On. End. And just when we think we might be seeing a light at the end of the tunnel of germs, our other kid comes down with the same thing. Or (even better!) we catch what they’ve got, making life semi-tortuous as we attempt to take care of the kids while in a mental haze that leaves us even foggier than that day we ran out of coffee.
This year things are so bad that even after our kids get better, we’re afraid to go to our favorite indoor places for fear we’ll be right back where we started. And since there have been more days below freezing so far this winter than I care to remember, outside time has been rare. (A couple friends and I were so desperate a few weeks ago that we brought our kids out on a 40-degree rainy day to splash in puddles).
Basically, you have already overstayed your welcome, so if you could buzz off as soon as possible, we would really appreciate that. We don’t mean to sound cliquey, but you’re not welcome at our playdates. In return for your speedy exit, we pinky swear that we won’t complain (much) about how hot it is this summer.
Signed,
Moms Everywhere
