Attention, Ladies Who Work WAY Too Hard on Thanksgiving: Please practice the following in the mirror daily until it rolls off your tongue and is delivered with plausible believe-ability: “I just *have* to get to Kohl’s RIGHT when they open at 6:00 tonight! So, husband-of-mine, oh-love-of-my-life, I can’t POSSIBLY clean up all the Thanksgiving leftovers. Byeeeeee!” Then I want you to skip out the door and back your mom-mobile out of the driveway before he knows what hit him. See how this works?
I first experienced Brown Thursday shopping four years ago with my sister-in-law. Please hear me loud and clear: this is NOT a shopping post! I promise you, if you set out on Brown Thursday or Black Friday looking for a spectacular deal, you are going to be disappointed. My experience tells me that the deals are getting worse and worse, and I predict that the entire trend will fade out in the next few years. You’re usually much better off just staying home and going online…but don’t tell your husband or kids or in-laws or anyone else that! While Brown Thursday is still alive and kicking, I encourage you to take advantage of
your husband the fact that the stores are open.
Get out and do something for yourself for once! In order to make this happen, the other people you have been cooking for and waiting on need to BELIEVE that you are at Kohl’s getting all the gifts for 98% off or whatever. If you are *actually* enjoying a peppermint mocha with your sister-in-law and gossiping about your husbands, so be it.
Here’s how I’ve arrived at this fantastic new tradition: the first year that my sister-in-law and I went out, the deals were actually insane, and we did in fact shop from 9:00 p.m. until about 4:00 a.m. It was crazy fun, and there was an electricity in the air and a sense of camaraderie among all the women who were pulling this materialistic all-nighter. The second year, she really did want some grill or smoker for her husband, and we had to get a ticket inside and then drive to the back of Wal-Mart to pick it up. So, we got Starbucks and sat in the pickup line for over three hours, waiting to get to the front and claim whatever meat appliance was going to make Joe joyful on December 25th. Waiting… and chatting. And thus, a tradition was born.
The following two years, the deals just weren’t that great, but we refused to pack up the leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner. I mean, you get a couple years off from that nightmare, there’s no way you’re going back. And we were both waxing poetic about our lattes in line. We made catching up the focus, and now that’s our tradition.
Someone asked me, “But doesn’t he expect to see bags and bags of stuff in the car on the return trip home?” To this I reply only with maniacal laughter. Let’s be honest: moms pack and load the car. And also, we’re diabolical geniuses. If my sister-in-law gives me her girls’ hand me downs, and I bring them home in giant Target or Old Navy bags, my husband doesn’t question what that is or where it came from. He is NOT going to paw through a bag of old snowsuits to see if I’m lying about getting Christmas gifts 73% off.
Additionally, it’s incredibly easy to say something like, “yeah, I didn’t get much because the iPad minis I wanted were sold out, and then we waited in line for HOURS so Sally could get Joe that TV/grill/recliner he wants, and she has to pick it up tomorrow. Don’t tell him though–she wants it to be a surprise. Anyway, I got some clothes for the kids, but I may have overbought, so I think I’ll ride out there with her tomorrow and return some things.” If we both tell our husbands the same thing, and tell them not to tell each other… do you see the genius of this? Then, when you’re at your wits end answering every question from “what’s for breakfast?” to “where’s my sock?” to “honey, did you pack my hockey stick?” that’s when you just *have* to pick up the television you didn’t buy. And the next question you will answer will be “venti, grande, or tall?”
At this point, I think our husbands probably know we aren’t doing a lot of shopping, but they play along, and that might be the thing I’m most thankful for. Well, that and lattes.
Looking to supplement your Black Friday latte with some actual shopping? Avoid the craziness of lines and crowds at the stores on Black Friday, and do your shopping through Providence Moms Blog’s hand picked shopping guide, ShopPVD! Or, start a new holiday tradition of shopping with a beer in hand at Providence Moms Blog’s ShopPVD Live Holiday Shopping Event. Purchase your tickets here!