I Want My Mom! How Parents Shape Our Parenting

0

I want my mom parents shape parenting Providence Moms Blog

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I began researching and looking at colleges I wanted so badly to go far away from home. I was tired of the area I grew up in and wanted to “spread my wings.” I decided on a school six hours from home in Philadelphia. I was so excited about the new experience and the thought of homesick never crossed my mind. I should have known how it was going to be once my parents dropped me off and left to spend a few days in Amish country. My dad called later and said my mom cried the entire ride. I made it until mid-September when I finally admitted I was homesick, thinking I made a mistake going so far away and choosing my major. When I finally broke down and called my mom to tell her how I felt, all it took was her saying “hello” for me to burst into tears. You see, I know she’s going to be able to tell either way. And there’s something so comforting in talking to her.

I always know I am going to get an honest response from my mom. She will tell me how she feels, but not in a harsh way. She is, and always has been, the perfect mix of structured and fun. We definitely had rules growing up that I felt no one else did (like no sugary cereals and we NEVER said “shut up”). But, we also were no strangers to ‘illegal dinners’ (for those unfamiliar with the term, it means having ice cream for dinner). I know that any advice she gives me is from her experiences in life. This became even truer once I had children of my own. I don’t call the pediatrician first, I call my mom. She is the one I bounce any issues with my kids off of. When she comes to town or watches my kids, I have no worries. There have been times, especially since becoming a parent and living further away from my own parents that I have literally said (usually through tears) “I want my mom!” There is something about the woman that raised me, encouraging me to keep raising my own kids in the best way I know how. No one is perfect; this I know all too well. But one of my biggest dreams is that my daughter looks up to me as I look up to my own mother.

I know how lucky I am. I know not every woman still has their mother in their life and if they do, they don’t always have the type of relationship that my mom and I have. I try to remind myself of this all the time. Every time I’m having a really bad day, just hearing her voice makes me choke up. Every time my mom comes to visit, I instantly feel myself relax. I also try to remind myself of this relationship and the type of woman that raised me every time I have a hard day with my kids. When I look back now on all the fights we had, on the times we couldn’t see eye to eye, when I thought she was being too strict, I get it now. You become a parent and most of that all starts to click. It makes me feel even more fortunate to have her in my life. It also drives me to trust my gut, do what I feel is right for my children, and to raise them to be good humans. But I will never stop looking to her (or calling her) for guidance and advice, which will always be more valuable to me than gold. So here’s to ice cream for dinner, unlimited cell phone minutes, and to the best woman I know, my mom.