I look around my chaotic house and there are (too many) things that don’t have a place. It’s suffocating me. I am certainly not the most organized person, but there is no denying that my mood is affected by the clutter and disorganization surrounding me. I feel defeated and frustrated as I utter the six words my husband hates most:
“We need to go to IKEA.”
I know it will take him some time to work through the emotions that those six words bring. Hopefully we will get to the actual store in the next month. My husband, like so many other people in the world, has to work through the stages of IKEA acceptance.
In my experience, the IKEA acceptance looks a lot like Kubler-Ross’s stages of grief. Maybe because a part of your soul dies a little every time you walk the pristine showroom or tour a perfectly organized 200 square-foot apartment. Whatever the reason, my husband goes through the same five stages in order, like clockwork.
Stage 1: Denial – Whoa whoa whoa — let’s not get drastic here. I know we need a little help with organization but we DEFINITELY don’t need to go to IKEA. Look, we have book shelves; we just need fewer books. We have a toy box — just need fewer toys. Let’s purge everything first to make sure we are holding onto necessities only.
Stage 2: Anger – Alright, we just spent three days purging our house. We are now certified purging machines. WHY DO WE HAVE ALL OF THIS STUFF? I’m cancelling our Amazon Prime. Oh, actually we do need those snow shoes. And those extra blankets are good to have in case everyone gets the stomach flu again like last year… these books will all be read again and again. UGH!!! Okay, so purging didn’t completely solve the problem like I hoped it would have.
Stage 3: Bargaining – We really don’t have to drive all the way up to IKEA though, do we? I’m sure Walmart has something comparable. Let’s try Savers. Oh, maybe we can type “IKEA” into Craigslist and hope we get lucky. Listen, I will take you out to dinner anywhere you want if we don’t have to go to IKEA.
Stage 4: Depression – I’m just going to lay in bed all day and hope my spouse forgets all about our need to go to IKEA. Where are the Cheetos?
Stage 5: Acceptance- Alright, they do have the most reasonable prices, so let’s get this over with. But let me tell you, this is the LAST TIME we are going, and I’m going to be grumpy the entire time we are there.
There it is, folks. I haven’t even touched the stages of following the ever-so-helpful instructions that are included in your purchase, but that’s for another time.