I got the call around 4:30pm. “Is the inn full?” It was the foster care placement office calling. Our first call since we asked to be on hold after picking up a drug-addicted newborn just a couple months before. The question pulled at my heartstrings. I asked for info on the child and after a quick check with my husband, I gave placement the go ahead.
It was a dark, stormy February night. I saw the van pull into my driveway only an hour after placement had called me and I opened the door to a social worker who dropped a bundled up baby into my arms. I brought him into the light and removed his hood off his head, getting my first glance at the newest member of my family. His deep dark eyes looked into mine, full of emotion, yet numb, all at the same time. The worker had me sign a few pieces of paper, handed me a bag with a blanket and a bottle, told me she would be back tomorrow to take him for an appointment, and then left.
Lil’ Man and I stared at each other while sitting on the couch for a few minutes. He was 13 months old. This wasn’t babysitting with a list of favorite foods, songs, naptime, and a bedtime routine provided. He had the clothes on his back, a blanket and a bottle for all of his worldly possessions. He was now mine to love, to take care of until further notice, and I was to be his everything. We learned together one step at a time our new schedule.
This was my first non-newborn placement and the start of an 8-month long roller coaster ride. He went on to be reunited with his baby sister in another foster home, and soon after that placement, he was reunited with his parents. I was just a stepping stone along the way but was so needed to be there to provide attachment, love, and nourishment while the rest of his world came together.
Now, why would someone bother to go through all that trouble? The stuff that Lil’ Man taught me and the new perspective on life that he helped me see totally changed me for the better. I would totally do it all over again and just recently took a new placement. You learn a whole different kind of love and also learn to appreciate some of the smaller things in life.
The need for foster parents is increasing daily. These children need someone to empower their self-confidence, love them, and help them as they go through the roller coaster of this life. Don’t think you can handle the attachment or don’t have space for another? Fear not, fostering isn’t the only way to help. There are meals to bring new families and donations to drop off to foster resource banks. Offering babysitting or respite care and so many other small things can make a great difference.
A Few Helpful Resources
The Village is Rhode Island’s only foster and adoptive family founded and governed support organization. Providing information classes, support classes, community outreach as well as being a resource bank that helps families be prepared for placement.
Fostering Hope
A nonprofit organization that exists to engage and equips members of the local church community to care for children in the foster care systems of New England.
Foster Forward
A nonprofit organization that strives to create programs to help youths in care as well as making sure that all foster youths are in safe, loving and nurturing homes.
