Passionate About Providence
and the Moms Who Live Here

Self-Care or Selfish?

self-care of selfish Providence Moms Blog

Photo credit: Haven Photography

Visualize your internal list, that list of who or what is important… where are you on that list?

For many of us we are at the bottom, or pretty close to it. We are constantly putting others’ needs and wants above our own. And this goes far beyond being a mother or even a wife. I know most of the time when I check in with that list, my son is at the top. Following him are my husband, mother, cousins, close friends, students, clients and so on. Most days I find myself at the very bottom, tired and burnt out. Like they say, you can’t pour from an empty cup, yet so many days, that is exactly what I feel I am doing.

Something I have recently become more aware of is the idea of self-care; the crazy idea of putting yourself first on that list from time to time. The idea that simple changes in your daily routine can lead to a more balanced and mindful life. Recognizing how important it is to identify your values and create space in your life for what truly matters.

I know for me, it is difficult to draw a line between what can be considered self-care and what can be considered selfish. Mom guilt is a real thing. I feel guilty every time I do something for myself that involves me taking away from time with my child, even when I know I deserve or need the time. I spend those precious moments convincing myself that its OK to be doing whatever it is that I’m doing in that moment.

The reality is we are in control of that line. We have the power to decide what we deserve in any given moment. Taking time for yourself is not selfish. If anything it makes you a better, more present version of yourself.


Keep. it. simple

Go to bed a few minutes earlier and read a book.

Wake up a few minutes earlier and stretch or drink a cup of coffee.

Go take that yoga or barre class.

Have that glass of wine on Tuesday night.


Close your eyes and breathe.

Start a meditation practice. 

Go for a walk.

Plug your phone in away from your bed.

Eat well and drink water.

Do whatever it is that makes you feel good; that puts you at the top of your list, and do it often. If you start these small practices you will feel more nourished and fulfilled. You deserve it!

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