Are you fun?
I used to be fun.
Or at least in my mind I was fun. But since I have become a mother…no, allow me to correct that: since I have become a 40-something mother of teens, things have changed.
I used to go out and have a few drinks with my husband and friends, eat out at a swanky restaurant in downtown Seattle and sometimes, we’d go dancing. Hello, we would go out for Happy Hour in the middle of the week. But we would get up at 6 a.m., go for a run and tackle a full 10-hour work day. I’d pop a couple Advils, down a tea or three and I was fine. Ready to manage some Mad Men-style-for-the-90’s public relations campaigns.
I didn’t even need a nap!
But things have changed since becoming a mom. Drastically. Let’s just say my lame meter is running high. And my fun factor has depreciated.
Deflated like a week-old balloon.
So much so, some weeks, I fear I’m ready to sign up for water aerobics.
Signs you’re starting to get a little lame:
1. You start listening to the Oldies station without even realizing it’s the Oldies. I was belting out a Neil Diamond song at a stop light the other day and realized a car full of 20-somethings were pointing, staring and laughing at me.
2. You get invited to see a live band that starts at 9:30 p.m. But by the time you peel on your dressy jeans and heels, you start yawning and decide it’s way too late to even make an effort. So you bow out and watch a Sex and the City re-run while eating the last piece of chocolate cake in the fridge.
3. Going to see a band used to be a twice-a-week tradition, now you’re lucky to catch a concert twice a year. And Lord help us all if it starts at 8 p.m.
4. You get a hangover from the piece of chocolate cake you ate.
5. You go see Neil Diamond in concert. And you and your 60-year-old aunt know EVERY SONG. (Thankfully, the show is over by 10:30 p.m.)
6. You down three beers and feel like you pulled an all-nighter.
7. You down champagne and the next day, you fear the bubbles have taken over your brain cells.
8. It takes you a full day to get over a hangover.
9. A late-night run to Taco Bell has been replaced by heartburn medication.
10. When you do go out, you need six hours of sleep. IN A ROW. If you don’t get it, you’re really, really, really cranky the next day (and feel like you’ve pulled an all-nighter).
11. Referring back to #10, do you know how hard it is for a 46-year-old-work-from-home-mother-of-two-human-and-three-canine-kids to actually sleep for four hours straight, let alone six? Don’t even talk to me about my sleep patterns or night sweats during pre-PMS weeks.
12. If you stay up past 11:30 p.m., it’s a big deal. And if you stay up and watch a movie in the family room until 11:30 p.m. with your spouse, you might as well call it a date night.
Yes, things have definitely changed since we had kids.
Especially since turning 46.
We still have FUN. But it’s a lot different these days.
We have fun doing simple things.
Like laughing at ourselves.
Bike riding to the beach to catch the sunset.
Meeting the girls for brunch.
Hosting a group of teens for a pool party.
And watching the sunrise with my husband from our back porch.
Don’t get me wrong. I still enjoy a night out with good friends. Or date night with my husband (who makes me laugh until I tinkle). Even if it’s more like twice a month rather than twice a week.
I guess I can still be fun.
As long as I’m home by 10 p.m.
